عتيقه فيرداعوس

The writer

I'm not melancholy; I'm a happy-go-lucky girl, kind of silly. I like funny things. I love making people happy. I'm a self-confessed introvert, though. (:

Roses along the way

Mr Jae
Fadhilah
Fadzilah
Genie
Gillian
Haikal
Hazwanie
Huiminz
Jasmine
Jiawen
Lihin
Nicholas
Renyu
Sijia
Sijing
Sonia
Stella
Tingming
Wendy Choong
Wendy Phua
Yanling
Yiru
Yvonne
Zhengyi
Zulhilmi

Arabic Keyboard
Dictionary
Fullstop Team
Rhymezone
Taufik Batisah

Mind your P's and Q's

Reminiscence

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December 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009 @ 11:44 PM

Hehehehehe. SPONGEBOB the spongy is my frienddd. Similar characters? Ditto. He cackles out like a lunatic and goes bonkers whenever Patrick Star the dummy is around. Next moment, he's down in the dumps, and boy does he cry real hard, real bad, real sad. Awwwww.

I feel you, girlfriend. (:

It's 2 am, feelin' like I just lost a friend,
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me.
It's 2 am, feelin' like I just lost a friend,
Hope you know it ain't easy, easy for me.

- Taylor Swift's Breathe.

Sometimes I really wonder who reads my precious blog. How I wish Blogger has got a stalker/watcher application, just like how Facebook has it. Hurhurhur. Then it will finally unveil all you silent readers out there. But if you think you're getting 100% of me here, nahhh I can bet you're only earning 0.1%. Ouh blimey, you can't presume you know me inside out upside down by merely reading my entries, can you? Ahahaha. RIGHT.

Mum and I went on a shopping spree today! Clothes and cosmetics shopping! Wheeeeeee! It really helps having learnt about cosmetics and personal care in sch; I feel so well-educated about the products and ingredienttts. (: Bought this dry skin lotion and it's like magically wow, awesomeee. Gotta pamper my hands that have been chemically damaged by acetone and chloroform especially. :(

AND I'M BACK TO MY LALALA REPORTS! THEY ARE SCREAMING TO ME JUST LIKE HOW THE SCREAMING CHOCOLATE GUY DOES IT EVERYTIME HE'S ON TV!

Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Exhausted. Jaded. Dejected. But life goes on, no matter what. It goes on, my dear. It goes on.

Labels: It has never been easy.

Sunday, December 20, 2009 @ 4:55 PM

I love Taylor's cat-like eyes. Green cat eyes. Glistening green with envy.

Guess I'm definitely not alone in admitting, "I've been thinking alot these days. Like really alot." Evidently, everyone around me is sinking into their own deep sentimental states. Pre-Christmas blues, pre-new year blues ..... not.

Holy crap! Falling asleep in front of your lappy in the middle of the night while typing out reports, with the MSN turned on and hanging conversations, sucks big time. But it's happening a tad too often. Eye fatigue brain fatigue muscle fatigue!

I should hit the jogging tracks soon.

It's no wonder why Mum says my appetite is increasing like a upwards hyperbola curve; I've been eating non-stop. Stress-eating, they label it. That's when the cortisol hormones combine with adrenaline in the body to produce energy. Which, in the end, will be stored as lipids.

Aunt will be back from her haj tmrw noon! A short trip to the airport again.

"Friends are an integral part of your life, but every friend you have must live life at their own pace. When the time comes and they must leave you, there is no need to grieve over their parting from your life. It is the very essence of life that it should be so. But it hurts nonetheless and we grieve nonetheless. But hold them our hearts forever. Always cherish the joy, laughter, memories and love that they have brought into your lives. Always remember them with a warm smile for what they have given you."

The eminent point here is to cherish. Cherish.

Labels: Just like a shadow.

Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 11:47 PM

"I will be more compassionate with myself when I'm not feeling positive and strong. I will appreciate the real me more, and smile when I catch myself comparing negatively with others."

Now that MST's nicely wrapped up (meow with the results since I've done all I could and I don't wanna look back) and the Christmas season of love and merrymaking is unfolding itself, here we poor students are, fighting against dear time to complete heaps and heaps of reports (FYP being the extreme most). The first three days of this holiday week was meticulously spent in the sch lab, slugging our bones and sweat off on the bits and crumbs of our finale TLC experiments.

I reached my hometown at 10 plus last night ( yea you could roughly estimate what time I left the sch compounds) and bought myself a good old cup of bubble tea. Brisk-walked home through the central park, and damn those thoughts bothered my mind once again. Why, why, why am I thinking way too much? I'm not supposed to be thinking about it already. I hate it oh Lord, but the stories keep replaying at the back of my head.

Sometimes when we think too much about stuff, negativity sets in and leads us to the wrong path, regardless of what the problem might be. Whenever I'm seated alone in the train on my journey home, I'd hurl into a pensive mood. Motivating myself to get out of the trap isn't an enigma, but I really gotta improve on how I handle psychologically perplexing situations in life. Like seriously.

Sharing with friends about my troubles does a great deal of help, and I appreciate it buckets. Perhaps Aaron is right; I should have several membrane filters instilled into my heart. To filter out unwanted feelings, and allow the heartstrings to carry out its elimination reactions (if you know what I'm trying to imply here). Hmmm. It's true, as a matter of fact. Cause the more I let these chemical interefences in, the more hurt and pain I would be experiencing and the more frozen the blood cells would get. And the action spoke for itself; I have been encountering that seething little ouch' lately. Inevitable, I say. I'm one naive individual. I bruise easily like jasmine flowers but I'm still learning. Learning as I grow and mature.

Anyway, tiqah here realised that she has been dutifully posting up life stories in this self-entitled blog of hers for nearly five friggin' years! Ahah! I vividly remember Mr Jae instructing the entire class to come up with a blog address each. Apparently, my creative juices weren't flowing. Hence, this own-named online journal of mine popped up, and it has remained unchanged ever since.

The anticipated weekend's making its way here, and I'm zest up for the gilers outing on Saturday. Old friends, old company, old memories re-liven again, ouh ouh ouh. You may have forgotten what people have done to you, but you will never forget how they made you feeeeeel. (: Boy, do I needa fresh dosage of retail therapy (gift-searching and self-indulgence of hehe, footwear!). Class outing's with Jac Hoe is gonna be a boom boom blast, I believe!

If only people could decipher those hidden words, things would probably get better. I recently made a tweeny wish that perhaps, people could have reacted a little differently towards a situation like this. Scepticism is one of my predilections, but I'm outmost willing to clear the choppy waters in this beautiful gift known as friendship. I hope for some mutual understanding, but it seems to me that people are handling it with two fingers infused with amusement. Bless you! You know, I always keep friends in my prayers and wish them well for everything life has to offer and God has to give. Cause only God has the very best offerings for His servants. Oh don't you feel the immense warmth of His sunshine?

Tonight marks the Islamic New Year 1431 H. I vow to be a better Muslim, who cares not only about life but death too.

Till then!

Labels: I am okay I will be okay.